A game-changer!
The first half of the Fall 2017 semester has been rough. Try as I might, I simply can't get into the groove of things. I keep saying to myself: "When is this semester going to start?! School, at this point, feels surreal. I've spent a lot of time feeling detached from myself and my surroundings thanks to depression. As a result, I've stopped studying, taking notes, and reading chapters.
I managed to cram the night before for one of my midterm exams but didn't even bother cracking the books for the other exams. The day of one of my exams that I didn't study for, I walked down the hall to the class room feeling like an inmate being lead to the electric chair. I knew I was about to get seriously fucked. And Sweet Jesus, did I ever! This exam was probably the most difficult I had ever taken. 85 questions worth of guessing later, I walked out of the room feeling worse than when I had walking in. I kept wondering how I could allow myself to be so unprepared for an exam, and I had no answer to the question. I drove around for an hour and still didn't have an answer to the question. I probably never will. But I do know that I made a promise to myself to working harder in the second half of the semester and I'm confident that I'll keep my promise.
How can I be sure that I'm going to kick the second half's ass? I've made these kinds of promises before and more often than not, they fell through. About a week ago, I mentioned to my doctor that my antidepressant didn't seem to be doing its job. Rather than taking me off the Prozac, she added Wellbutrin. In just a short time, I'm already feeling a gigantic difference. I'm no longer detaching from myself and my environment. My ability to focus has sharpened. Motivation in all areas of my life has increased. My memory has improved tremendously. I feel like socializing and being around others. My movement is more fluid and my speech has improved. After years of medications that didn't work, I have found what I need. I have been given a gift, and I couldn't ask for anything better.
Here's to a new life! Cheers!
I managed to cram the night before for one of my midterm exams but didn't even bother cracking the books for the other exams. The day of one of my exams that I didn't study for, I walked down the hall to the class room feeling like an inmate being lead to the electric chair. I knew I was about to get seriously fucked. And Sweet Jesus, did I ever! This exam was probably the most difficult I had ever taken. 85 questions worth of guessing later, I walked out of the room feeling worse than when I had walking in. I kept wondering how I could allow myself to be so unprepared for an exam, and I had no answer to the question. I drove around for an hour and still didn't have an answer to the question. I probably never will. But I do know that I made a promise to myself to working harder in the second half of the semester and I'm confident that I'll keep my promise.
How can I be sure that I'm going to kick the second half's ass? I've made these kinds of promises before and more often than not, they fell through. About a week ago, I mentioned to my doctor that my antidepressant didn't seem to be doing its job. Rather than taking me off the Prozac, she added Wellbutrin. In just a short time, I'm already feeling a gigantic difference. I'm no longer detaching from myself and my environment. My ability to focus has sharpened. Motivation in all areas of my life has increased. My memory has improved tremendously. I feel like socializing and being around others. My movement is more fluid and my speech has improved. After years of medications that didn't work, I have found what I need. I have been given a gift, and I couldn't ask for anything better.
Here's to a new life! Cheers!
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